all your bass are belong to strider

section 2: the art of breaking & entering; stealing

It is strange just how many files there are out there that try to 

document the art of stealing.  After all, it IS an art.  You have to 

be calm, smooth, persistant, patient.  Stealing is not an overnight- 

planned operation.  You should try to prepare for at least a week or 

more when planning to steal from a house, and even LONGER when from 

a business.  Storytime, kiddies:

A long time ago, well, in the past year, my friends and I 

noticed that the building complex in our town was the perfect place 

to obtain unpaid-for items.  We learned all we could about the 

complex, which was about 365,000 sqft, and each company consisted of 

an office (fully furnished with cool computer stuff), and a 10,000 

sqft (roughly) warehouse, all interconnected, and all one level.  

This information was obtained through several calls to the town 

committee (board of development, or some shit like that, the place 

that you call for building permits, and the like.), and we obtained 

the blueprints for the whole complex.  We planned a route from the 

side entrance through the warehouse, and into the offices, where all 

the good stuff is usually located.  Now that we had our route, all 

we needed was a plan to get inside.  Since this was our first major 

job, we spent a few good weeks on preparation.  During the snow 

weather, we worked w/ a company to shovel the sidewalks of the 

complex.  One night, at about 11 pm, we stopped shoveling in front 

of our planned job site, Campbells Soup, Co.  There was nobody there 

except the janitors that cleaned up the place (or so we thought).  I 

asked the janitor if I could use the bathroom (I did have to go too) 

and he let me in.  I must have surprised him when I knew exactly 

where the bathroom was!  As I walked to it, I scanned for vid cams, 

infrared guns/recievers (little boxes at entrances with a black 

glass square about 1” sq. at about knee hight on each side).   

Nothing.  The doors all had security magnetic detection at the tops, 

and also the windows.  To think someone would break in through an 

obvious place like a large window, stupid.  To my surprise, there 

were a few losers working late, and didn’t really care that I was 

there at all.  Take another Viverin’ guys, I wont be here long.  The 

smell of black coffee was stifeling.  The bathroom was located back 

by the office’s entrance to the warehouse, and to my surprise, it 

was unlocked!  The lights were on, and the place was totally empty, 

except for a few cardboard remains, and shelves, and that blessed 

side door.  I walked over to the door to examine it.  No security, 

no vid cams in the warehouse, no nothing.  Odd, usually these 

warehouses were kept tight as a hookers pussy.  But it looked like 

they were packing up to move somewhere.  Boxes on the office desks, 

etc..  The door was locked with a key deadbolt (pain to pick) and a 

regular door-knob key lock.  No problem.  I needed to stop that 

deadbolt from being locked, so I looked around for something to 

use….aha!  There was some strange material like alum. foil on the 

ground, pliable, yet of a black color.  I took out a small allen key 

(a thief never goes ANYWHERE without a small lockpicking tool) and 

crammed enough of the stuff into the keyhole so that a key could not 

be inserted far enough to turn, and the stuff was inn to far to be 

pulled out.  Viola!  Back to the point of this story.  When the time 

came to make our move, something strange happened.  The place was 

abandoned for 3 days straight, most office equipment removed, and 

the front door left ajar, for all 3 days.  We still decided to enter 

via our planned route.  At 1:30am we went to the side door, and what 

a surprise, the deadbolt lock was open.  Now to the knob lock.  It 

was still locked, but not a problem.  Knob locks usually look like 

this:

The top sliding piece is about 1/4” wide on popular locks, with the 

bar facing you, if the door swings outward.  With the smallest 

allenkey you can get, stick it in and repeatively push and slide it 

back towards the knob, but don’t let go, because it is spring loaded 

and will snap back into place again.  Now for the larger bar.  Take 

another key and wedge it into the slot where the bar enters the 

other wall (without the knob on it)! and do the same thing.  This 

will be considerably harder to do than with the small tongue, but if 

you practiced like you should have, it will open with minimum effort.

Now we were inside.  We ran through the warehouse thruogh the 

warehouse/office door (these are rarely locked, but try to prepare 

for it ahead of time by “cramming the lock” like I did) and into the 

office.  The place was empty, no shelves, just desks, chairs, and 

boxes.  The boxes contained modems, motherboards, bus cards, 

printers, cables, fone cable, and one contained a Zenith laptop 

computer!  No shit, this is a true story!  We took everything we 

could carry (5 people).  We took all the above mentioned, as well as 

printer toner, fones, fone jacks, documents, desk chairs, insulated 

boxes and bags (static-free kind), even the little shit things, like 

outlet plates, light bulbs, ANYTHING!!!  We went really crazy, and 

were out in 2 min 30 sec.(always set a time limit) 

We wound up throwing half the shit away, but it felt great just 

to take anything that was not ours!! I have since then done other 

“jobs” with much more precision, and effort, as well as better 

rewards.  

Here are some tips that should be followed when attempting to steal::

-WEAR GLOVES!!!!!!!!!!

-backpacks for everyone to put the loot in

-always case the joint for at least a week and keep documented 

records of who leaves when, what time it closes, timed lights, etc…

-have at least 4 phriends with you, and ,please, make sure they know 

what they are doing, no idiots allowed!

-bring tools :small allen keys, both types of screwdrivers, standard 

size, and tiny, hacksaw blade, wire cutters and strippers, 

spraypaint-to leave your handle on the wall, hammer, mace, gun-if 

available, flashlights (duh), wire-good for re-routing door 

security, and bolt cutters.

-designate a person to carry all the tools ONLY-don’t have him 

pickup stuff and mix it with the tools, this will only slow you down 

later if you need to look for a tool quickly.

-designate a person to STAY PUT by the door and keep watch.

-designate a timer, one who has a lighted stopwatch.

-make runs NO LONGER THAT 3 MIN.  EVEN THIS TIME IS EXTREEMELY 

HIGH-TRY TO KEEP AS LOW AS POSSIBLE.

-getaway vehicle (preferably NOT a van or pickup truck, these will  

be very suspicious to the pigs..er.I mean cops.  And don’t speed, or 

anything, this just attracts attention.  Cover licence plates till 

just before you get your asses going, so no one can report the 

plates to the pigs..oops!, damn, did it again, cops.  Make sure you 

remove covering before leaving.

-Always keep flashlights pointed DOWN unless necessary, crawl under 

windows, no shouting, even if you find some phucking cool shit, on 

second thought, maybe painting your handle is a little stupid, so 

forget that, wear dark clothes OVER regular, non-suspicious clothes 

(get changed first thing in the car)

-Never brag about your findings in public, only on modem, or on BBS, 

and never give names of places, phriends, and exact names of things 

taken, (just say you ‘borrowed’ a 486DX 33 motherboard, don’t say is 

a Intel 486DX 33 mhz for an IBM PS/1 model 50, serial 

#XXXXXXXXXXXX.  that is just plain dumb)

-Have phunn!! and never steal from your neighborhood.  

-If you break into houses, never move stuff around; the longer it 

takes the yuppie family to realize that you were there, the better.

-WEAR GLOVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-to get in windows: shoot window with BB gun, and place clear, 

stickey hard-cover book covering on the window over the hole, 

hopefully the inpact of the shot was enough to crack the glass, and 

LEAN OR PUSH on the covered glass, do not hit or kick, and you will 

see that the majority of the glass will stick to the covering, and 

will make considerably less noise.

-enter through basement windows preferably under a deck or steps.

-MAKE SURE THE PEOPLE WILL BE GONE FOR THE NIGHT AND THE NEIGHBORS 

ARE ASLEEP (GO FOR AROUND 2:30 AM)

-take stuff that will sell easily to friends, and don’t waste time 

taking things that look neat, just take the basics:  electronic, 

computer, TV, VCR, some jewelry-things you could easily hock, 

preferably without inscriptions, raid the fridge, take good quality 

fones, stereo equip., speakers, etc..

-always case the outside of the house looking for security stickers 

that yuppie families like to place in full view.

-do mischievous shit like cut all fone lines in house, cut up couch 

cushions, and flip them over so they look perfectly normal!; shoot a 

hole in their fish tank, (all yuppies own fish); slash clothes, then 

put them back into the drawer; unplug fridge; set thermostat way up 

to 99.9 degrees; leave drain plugged and let the faucet run just a 

little, (for 6 hours!!); whatever you can’t take or carry out, 

destroy in a subtle way, -if you can’t carry out those 130 lb wood 

case stereo speakers, slash the cones; break ballpoint pens open and 

rub them into the carpet with their shoes; run a magnet over audio 

and VCR cassettes and floppies, and anything else subtle that would 

brighten their day.